Fizzle of the Sizzle

I am convinced that the downfall of many relationships is merely due to the inevitable dwindling of the passion and attraction that brings a couple together. I call this the 'Fizzle of the Sizzle' - the seven deadly steps of the downward spiral of modern relationships:

One

This guy is HOT. I can't keep my eyes off of him. I wonder how many times I have to go out with him and let him buy me dinner before I can rip his clothes off and jump into his bed without being considered a slut? Hmmmm?

Two

Ok, it has been at least a week... He took me out to a few dinners, we did the "I like this", and the "you like that" thing. It's time to get a little bit tipsy and do IT. Not so tipsy that I can't feel anything below the waist, but just tipsy enough that I can blame my bad behavior on the booze.

Three

I can't get enough of you. You are fantastic. Let's screw in the morning, the afternoon and the evening. Let's do it on the floor, the counter and in the bathroom at the bar.

Four

Why don't you show me how much you love me? Buy me some flowers. Let's sit down to a glass of wine by the fireplace before going to bed to "make love".

Five

I love it when you bring me flowers. Send them to my work so the girls can see how much you cherish me. Don't forget to pick me up a bottle of wine! If I get drunk enough, you can try to have sex with me. I can't promise anything.

Six

Skip the flowers. I am worried that you are spending too much money. Are you tracking your checkbook carefully enough? When you get off of work let's have a bottle of wine together, cuddle up in bed with the dog and go to sleep.

Seven

Just give me the bottle of wine. I'm too damn tired for sex and I have a headache... again.

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